Who do I want to be vs. who I am?

When faced with this question, my initial reaction is to pause and think. Should there be two answers? Should the answer be the same for both? Is there a right or wrong response? Over the past couple of weeks I’ve truly taken a deep-dive into the unknown. My stable job has become stable-less, my once known future became less thought out, and my panic started to creep in. Have you found yourself just coasting by, going through the emotions day in and day out, and then all of sudden STOP? I find that this happens two ways. We either make the decision to think about changing or we are forced to. Changing jobs, changing bad habits, changing lifestyles, etc.ย  We “change” because we want a different result. We want something that we maybe once had and lost. We strive to be better because we know we can.

So who do I want to be? I want to be healthier, not only physically but mentally. I want to write and read more. Spend less time watching tv. Be more focused. As Mallory Ervin would said “live fully”. I want to live a positive life. And that’s not to say I’m currently living a negative one! But I feel myself wanting these things. And if I want to do these things, I need to DO THEM. Wanting and doing are two different things. We can brainstorm whatever the hell we want, but until you put the plan and research into action, then you’re not doing. You’re just wanting.

I encourage you all to start doing the things you want and desire. You want to be a morning person? Get up earlier. You want to run a half marathon? Walk that mile first. Be someone who knows what they want and goes for it. Be the person you want. Because that becomes the person you are.ย 

 

Friday’s Five

It’s my intention to religiously post about five things every Friday. (Hence the name, DUH.) Originally I was thinking five things that made me smile or happy throughout the week, but then realized that “hell, maybe I won’t always have five things to list?” So I decided to keep it simple and easy and basically list whatever comes to mind. IT’S MY BLOG AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT TO, DO WHAT I WANT TO. (Did you read that in the tune of “it’s my party and I’ll cry ifย  I want to?” because that’s what I was shooting for.) In any case, here we go.

Five books I’m reading this month!

Continue reading “Friday’s Five”

Why do I do this?

I can’t be the only one, right? Start something, never finish. Make a goal, never accomplish it. What a shitty feeling. And yet, I do this ALL THE TIME. It’s a vicious cycle of wanting to become a “better person” and never fully committing. Maybe if I air my so-called dirty laundry into the web universe, I’ll be more likely to stick to my guns. Wishful thinking?

Continue reading “Why do I do this?”

Why Online Dating Sucks and It’s Our Fault.

“Aw, where did you guys meet?” – the dreaded question of the century.

Dating is rough, no doubt about it. I’m sure it’s always been rough and will continue to be til the end of time. However, at this very moment, it completely sucks. Long gone are the days of meeting someone naturally. So long to the moment of crossing paths at a grocery store with sparks in your eyes. Farewell to someone casually buying you a drink at your favorite bar. Why have these scenarios become so obsolete? Cue Tinder, Match, OkCupid, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, Our time; shall I keep going? Not only have these dating services sucked all kind of romance out of our system, but they’ve also put a complete damper on our expectations.

Perhaps it’s true. Perhaps those commercials of finding your true love on the internet can become reality. But do they realize how many damn fish there are in the sea? What exactly are the odds of finding someone you’ll connect with? How can you determine if you should give someone a chance simply by swiping left or right? And once you do give someone that chance, what’s the smoothest transition to taking it to the “real world”?

And once you do exchange numbers and even meet in person, that subtle interest becomes dust in the wind. Why is that? That excitement you once had goes away and in comes the realization that you actually have to put yourself out there. You have to put your phone down and face it head on. Then hesitation sets in and you either back off or completely ghost. And let’s just keep it real… we’ve all been there and done that. Whether you’ve been ghosted or you do that act, it doesn’t feel good all around.

So why is online dating so popular? Why is it so mainstream? These are the questions I’d like to have answered. Because quite frankly, I’m conflicted. I go through phases of wanting to be in a relationship, wanting to find someone and not be “alone” – but then I suddenly have this regret. Why am I doing this? I’m putting myself out there, and when I do get some sort of attention or feedback, I (almost) immediately retract and convince myself that I’m not ready. Not ready for what you might ask? To date, to flirt through messages, to actually meet a “stranger” in person.ย If I’m not wholeheartedly into the idea of meeting someone online, does that hinder my chances of doing so?ย ย 

Here’s my final thought; I think you most definitely can find your partner online. Is it hard? Yes. But doable. However from my own experience, if you’re not fully invested, then it won’t work.

A single girl’s thoughts about Valentine’s Day…

Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether you celebrating with a loved one, or embracing love for yourself, I hope you have a good day. Even if you’re not one for this certain holiday (myself included), it’s still nice to do a little something. Have/make dinner, get some chocolates, grab some flowers, go for a manicure, buy that thing you’ve been wanting, etc. JUST DO IT.

This year I’m single (yet again), and my day will consist of working and then making myself a nice dinner. Perhaps a glass (or two) of wine as well, followed by ice cream. Because, why the hell not?

Valentine’s Day has this certain stigma whether you’re in a relationship or single. If you’re in a relationship, there’s this pressure of fancy gifts and showing just how much you love that person. But in reality, shouldn’t you be doing that all year? Shouldn’t you have those moments on a random Tuesday in June? Why do we let ourselves slip all year and then try and make up for it on the one day in February?ย ย 

Same goes it for us singles out there. ESPECIALLY ladies. Why is it assumed that all of us girls are haters and bitter on V-Day? Just because we’re “alone” doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate love. Instead of society making it seem like we hate all couples, shouldn’t they applaud of us for taking the time to love ourselves? Or actually, maybe we really should start loving ourselves more. Maybe that’s the problem.ย 

I think there’s a lack of self-love in general. We’re so eager to please everyone else, but when was the last time you did something for you? Because you wanted to? This Valentine’s Day, I think you should take a look at yourself, relationship or not, and see if you like what you see. And I don’t mean appearance, I mean how you’re living your life. Is there something that you’ve been wanting to do but are afraid what people might say? Is there a restaurant you want to go but have nobody to go with? You by yourself! Table for one! How scary can it be? Let’s stop being afraid to take care of ourselves and be a little selfish.

Go buy that sweater. Join that spin class. Go to the movies on Wednesday night. Do things you’ve been wanting to do. Because, why the hell not?ย